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November 9, 2012
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(Contains: strong language)
~Orihime~
    "Okay class! Listen up please for this exciting announcement!" The teacher at the front of classroom said with a patient face. The classroom's roarings quieted soon after her loud introduction, "Today, I've just been informed that we will be staying two weeks in America! We will be visiting historical landmarks, famous tourist spots and much more! Aren't you all excited?" The classroom soon burst out in individual conversations. Tatsuki leaned closer to Orihime's chair, "Aren't you excited, Orihime? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Orihime turned her head to face her in a excited smile, "Oh course I am! It's a good thing I didn't unpack my stuff yet. Hey where's the first site seeing?" Tatsuki looked down at the pan-flit that she was just handed and searched the paper thoroughly. "Um.. it's.. Niagara Falls. Says here that it's best known for making people fall in-saying in a mocking voice-love." Orihime's face flushed bright pink, she crossed her arms and laid them on the table, making a pillow for her head. She peaked her head up to find a man standing over her, she jumped up from surprisement and settled quickly after finding out who it was. "So are you going on the the Orihime?" Orihime settled down in her seat and smiled brightly at him, "Oh course! Aren't you going, Ichigo?" Ichigo shrugged "Maybe, I might not be able to since I have to take care of my sisters." Orihime tilted her head to the side, "Yuzi and Karin? But they're old enough to take care of themselves, heck they might be old enough to have boyfriends!" Ichigo's face got immediately red at the thought "N-No way! Besides they're not like that yet!" Orihime's eyes filled with curiosity, "Have you ever had a girlfriend, Ichigo?" Ichigo's blushed face got even redder "W-well.. no. What about you Orihime?" She shook her head slowly, "No, unfortunately I haven't found the right man yet." Ichigo's face cleared from embarrassment and was instead filled with curiosity "Really? That's surprising." Orihime cocked an eyebrow, "Why's that?" Ichigo's eyes circled the room, avoiding her eye contact. "W-well look at you." Orihime stepped closer, "What about me?" She was so close they could touch, The school-bell rang, indicating school was over. Ichigo rushed out the door with lightening speed, yelling his good-byes through the hallway. Once out the school doors, Ichigo wiped his sweat from his forehead "That was a close one.."
I know this ones short, but I need to keep you from knowing the BIG ONE, (has an important scene :D)

Also, I'm sorry I had to keep you guys in the wait, this week I had almost NO free time to do it D:

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this one and the one's soon to come, Please leave a comment and as always I will be reading them.
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:iconangelusamy:
Critique by AngelusAmy Nov 9, 2012, 8:33:41 PM
Honestly it was a little too short if it was at least 2 pages you probably would get more readers.

I have questions

Does going to America having to do with main plot? Also why didn't you make this chapter a start of a sequel to the previous storyline? Are they interconnected? If so how will you connect the storylines to each other?

Anyway you seem to having trouble ending you chapters you could use a improvement on that.

Still you have potential to be a very great writer so keep trying Love

One more thing to say you Ichihime rules!
What do you think?
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:iconephaneychan:
EphaneyChan Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I like this!! but i agree with everything that :iconangelusamy:sadi...
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:iconskytrains:
SkyTrains Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Do you think I should take off the next one & add it on to this one?
Reply
:iconephaneychan:
EphaneyChan Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
hmmm...idk...
Reply
:iconskytrains:
SkyTrains Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I guess I'll leave it at this since it's not THAT big of a deal x]
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:iconephaneychan:
EphaneyChan Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah...
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:iconangelusamy:
AngelusAmy Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
I hope didn't hurt your feelings Sweetie?
Reply
:iconskytrains:
SkyTrains Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You didn't, well to be honest at first I was abit sad but then I thought about it, I'm glad I have someone to give me constructive criticism :3
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